Beyond the Tail

The wordy world of wicked, wise and wonderful creatures

Category: Mein Cat

Mein Cat by Judah Grear



I had never met a cat quite as troubled as he,

Slanted Adolf whiskers betrayed a fascist tendency

In his philosophy, he never pretended to be,

Anything other than a catastrophe


From the moment that kitten arrived outside the door,

We knew life would never be as it had been before

Each resounding purr followed by the swipe of a claw,

Furry Der Fuhrer had arrived as the law


The occupation was swift, and resistance futile,

We had to admire his efficiency and style

We were blind to the plan, and all the meanwhile,

He was taking over his new domicile


The dogs’ bed was soon his centre of power,

He held his position with a hiss and a glower

Observing us mere mortals from his ivory tower,

Little Kitty’s milk was now beyond sour


Never such a cattitude of “I’ll do what I please”,

Then when he ambushed a pair of passing knees

He even recruited an army of fleas,

This was an autocat, you could not appease


His demands grew daily, More Milk! More Fish!

And as he grew fatter, he grew more feindish

We, mere providers of each need and wish,

Filling the despot, so he could flourish


I never believed one day he’d disappear,

Was the fish not fresh? Were his purrs not sincere?

The regime is now over. We live without fear

But Das feline’s ambitions have notched up a gear


An everlasting expansive occupation,

Working his way from location to location

He can resist everything except for temptation,

As he secures his plans for world domination